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What your favourite beer says about you

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What your favourite beer says about you

Picking your favourite beer is a tough decision. I am convinced that if you asked me numerous times a year, I’d probably change my mind at least three times. However, there is a definite aesthetic that comes with each beer. I hope not to offend you although some of these are definitely true.

1. Stella

I’m not going to say it, but you know what I’m referencing. I’m convinced nobody really likes Stella, it’s just pretty cheap and pretty average. You’re not bothered about any fanciness or novelty, just straight-up beer. I will say those who pick Stella do actually like beer and don’t just drink it for the clout of saying, “oh yes I’ll have a beer”.

2. Bud

There is definitely something about Bud that makes me think of someone even more boring and nondescript than Stella. It’s for those who don’t really know what beer they like or if they really like beer at all. It’s usually cheap and it always makes me think of family celebrations. You can best your dad will say, “get a crate of Bud, everyone likes Bud”. If you say Bud is your favourite beer, what are you doing? It’s okay but it definitely isn’t distinguished enough to be someone’s FAVOURITE.

3. Carlsberg

Carlsberg just always makes me think of Reading Festival (great if you had tickets this year and your plans were ruined by Corona, less so if you just want a beer). Nothing will ever remove the memory of warm Carlsberg whilst sat in direct sun with a silly little bucket hat on, seeing people walk around half-naked. In terms of actual taste, Carlsberg pilsner just isn’t as nice as it sounds and pretty much just means you like wham cans of mid-market beer. You’re less boring than someone who drinks Bud but you’re afraid of the Stella image, so you sit and say, ‘yeah Carlsberg is alright’.

4. Birra Moretti

I will be honest. Birra Moretti is ridiculously expensive for what it is but nevertheless it’s a winner and my favourite. You’re looking at like £5.50 for a pint of this stuff but it is good. If you pick Birra Moretti, you’re quite okay with going for the aesthetic of a pretty nice beer but paying too much for it. You like beer but you’re not a hardcore fan.

5. San Miguel

Who even drinks San Miguel? To me, it tastes very similar to Stella and you might as well just order a pint of Stella.

6. Corona / Sol

Here you have the classic summertime beers. They’re a good all-rounder and more respectable than Bud, although very popular and makes you sound a little basic. With a Corona, you’re always playing it safe (maybe not in the current pandemic climate).

7. Red Stripe

Red Stripe, much like Stella, has a definite image stuck to it. All I can think of when I see those cans are the nitty lads in clubs doing things they shouldn’t be. It really isn’t as cool as it might look to stand there with a Red Stripe can in a rave or club. Just buy a double vodka like the rest of us and deal with the sugary mess of the mixers.

8. Camden Hells

This lager is my favourite lager and it seems to only get attention here in the South. You genuinely look pretty cool and alternative drinking Camden Hells because it isn’t as popular as say Corona. You definitely look more like a posh Tory though, sorry not sorry. Like Birra Moretti, it’s pretty expensive too but the aesthetic is somewhat less fragile than that of the former. I don’t like looking like a posh Southerner but sometimes there’s only so much you can do.

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